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  • Writer's pictureArlene Bozich

An Open Letter to Open Minded Extra Terrestrials; Notes for Would-be Intergalactic Conquerors

Dear Aliens,

I come in peace.

I know Earth is basically an off-limits nature preserve that you guys check in on from time to time like a nuclear ant farm on the brink of destruction, so I just want to be clear- I’m not here to attack you, harm you, threaten you, or anything like that. There’s no reason you should believe me (you guys must lock your spaceship doors when you drive by our chunk of the galaxy with the way we all act), but if my goodwill isn’t enough, please look at the fact that I am a barely evolved human being with no access to any sort of power, so it’s not like I have any real weaponry or ability to come at you with. I’m the underdog here.

I’m writing this because I figure at least a few of you might have pack bonded with us and feel a mild sense of compassion directed our way- I’m also assuming you have feelings, so if you don’t just beam me up and explain that to me because what the hell. I clearly don’t know how Alien Society is set up, but I can tell you what I’ve learned about humans as an Autistic woman living in the United States. I got diagnosed as a kid in the 90’s, but no one seemed to think it was important enough to tell me until recently. But, as a human who has always been an alien in her own body and every conversation she’s ever been part of, I’ve found a few ways to navigate human society. I figure if any of you want to try to blend in or communicate directly, I can give you some context to make it easier.

Considering how time dilation changes the rate of aging, you might have really, really distinct snapshots of humanity spread out over a few thousand years. Quick side bar- did any of you pick up a brown Jewish guy from Nazareth during one of your stops? He would’ve pissed off the cops and the merchants and the Conservative politicians to the point they crucified him (he was a devout Socialist who wanted everyone to have food, water, and housing for free and that’s bad for Business, the religious core of all Capitalists), so he’s also got holes in his hands and feet from the whole fucked up affair. The reason I’m asking is because he said he was coming back and, since he hasn’t yet, I figure he’s chilling with you and lost track of time. His followers have seriously fucked up and we’re gonna need him to come back and clean up his mess, if so. Thanks for checking. But back to the main point-

Humans do evolve, but each individual human doesn’t see it. That means we’re usually behaving in an irrational way, divorced of any sort of historical dialecticism or anchor in present reality. See, neurotypical humans (who I call Boring), regularly say or believe one thing, then do something completely contradictory or hypocritical with their actions. This is because the Boring Humans don’t realize that their feelings and projections are not the same thing as factual reality and there are more ways to exist in shared reality than they’ve seen for themselves. Whereas every human outside of the mainstream has to ensure their actions and words are in harmony or they can’t function, the Borings took over and cut resources off from anyone who can’t meet their made up, arbitrary standards. And they will react violently if these imaginary, ill-constructed rule sets are interpreted differently in any sort of way. Social shunning, contempt, even physical reactions- all because they suck at communicating with anyone who isn’t exactly like them. Some of them like to attribute these standards to an imaginary Sky Daddy, but it’s a reductive take on the nature of God and the Universe that they abuse in order to exert control over others. I believe it’s an attempt to conquer their own feelings of insecurity, or the inability to approach that same issue due to an overwhelming sense of fear. The way things function right now is, if you aren’t useful to the Borings, you don’t get money- the tender we trade for resources, falsely propped up by ancient hierarchical structures that are crumbling apart as we speak. And, with the money and golden bull of Capitalism being the focus of how our society spends its time, which is the only real resource any human has, being purposely separated from money weakens and even kills those of us with no access to it. We have to pay for healing, education, food, water- which means we have to spend all our time appeasing the Borings so that they feel comfortable, because they hoarded the resources and now guard their stolen goods with violence, both physical and psychological. Soon, with how the Capitalists have destroyed the planet, we’ll probably have to start paying for air. You picked a hell of a time to come to Earth, friends.

All human brains seem to crave consistency, which is dangerous when we adapt to a chaotic, negative, toxic environment- it becomes our default comfort mode that we return to, even when it’s bad for us. That’s why you might observe a lot of women who are obsessed with podcasts about violence and murder, or see humans who win the lottery fall back into cycles of poverty. It’s the repetition we’re looking for, that’s how our brains build neurons. So, we attach to stability where it can get it- we’re all really good at pattern recognition, sometimes to a deep, fatal fault. But, change is the only constant and humans see that pattern and subconsciously adapt, even when their goal is repetition. It’s also why every time you’ve visited since at least the 1400s, the Catholic Church has been the only consistent thing.

Tell me- are you guys in contact with those assholes? I know they have a bunch of cool stuff hidden in their basement (probably stolen from you guys) and they’ve been really dead-set on not changing, like, ever. So if I were an Alien visiting Earth regularly I’d probably be Catholic just for a sense of consistency. Just know that if you are, those creepy ass, warmongering pedophiles have literally been holding the land and governments hostage for a couple hundred years and raping our children and the women in their convents without any sort of response. But maybe you guys like chaos? I don’t know- if you have a sense of justice, and seeing as the base state of the Universe energetically is harmony I’ll assume you do, can I ask that you out them and let us do our violence thing back to them after the centuries they’ve inflicted on cultures and generations? Just let me know, maybe you’ve got a more evolved way to make people realize that exploitation, genocide, and crusades need to be answered for. Because right now, they literally have their own country and continue to take resources worldwide. It’s straight up evil.

I’m part of the Millennial generation (the ‘Spice Girls’ subset in particular), which means we remember the world before the internet changed everything and act as the bridge between technology natives and immigrants. Basically, the kids have no real world experience for why things are the way they are and the elders don’t understand how the world could function better and we sit in the middle and scream at both of them because without understanding the practical experience of how to apply the technology we’re creating, we really have no shot as a species. Our generation’s entire life has been downhill from the start. See, in the United States, we were born during an economic boom and a time of promise. But the Borings didn’t realize those bright, shiny promises given to us by those in power were lies. See, there’s this thing called the Republicuck party. You might see it typed out like “Republican”, but every one of their political constituents has been cuckolded over a decades long brainwashing campaign that’s filled an entire part of the populace with fear and forced their frontal lobes to turn off. They’ve been conned and screwed, and because of the consistency thing they keep walking back to the Fascist politicians and power players who keep lying to and using them.

As you might know, the frontal lobe of the human brain is where our personalities, sense of morality, empathetic capabilities, and creativity all hang out. Fear shuts this part of the brain off because, in our evolution, there would have been direct threats like tigers or bears that we needed to hyper focus on and eliminate or escape in order to survive. In a healthy human society, we would engage with that hyper focus through gameplay and fun, positive competition. But, with the Republicucks’ plot, they pumped their voters full of imaginary fears so that they had to acquiesce to group think, where human communal bonding is taken to an unhealthy extreme and the individual is wiped out of the conversation to be replaced with the arbitrary identity and action set that the powerful in the group dictate and control. Again- the Borings demanding that everyone play by their madeup rules so they can have control without taking any of the responsibility for the pain, suffering, and damage they create through adherence to their hollow moral code. They’ve also armed this part of the populace to the teeth, funded through a group called the NRA, which was influenced by another country, Russia- aaand now I’m devolving into international politics, sorry- let’s just stick with the U.S. right now, okay?

Basically, the past few decades have been pumped full of financial chaos and social turmoil to keep people scared, and then the most fear-filled were given guns and deputized. It’s why our schools are warzones- kids are the canary in the coal mine. Another human phrase, forgive me. I mean that they’re the most sensitive part of the populace, similar to a tree sapling. A storm is going to be a different experience for that sapling versus a full grown tree. Of course they’re going to lose their minds first- same with the desperate who shoot into masses and crowds. Sensitive people should be artists, not murderous psychopaths. But, if a society has Art and Science as its priorities, that means its creative faculties are functioning- they’re out of the fear state. We have nothing but chaos and fear, which is why I think so many people are secretly relieved that we know you’re here. Nothing makes sense anymore. But at least we’re not alone.

Now the other political part in the United States, the Democowards (also called “Democrats”), enabled these individuals. And why would they do that? Democowards fall prey to the consistency humans crave, looking to maintain the status quo no matter how destructive or toxic that societal homeostasis is. We have a whole human saying about boiliing frogs by starting them off in cold water and slowly raising the heat, which Republicucks did to the Democowards through coordinated political and media efforts over the decades. I know it’s probably shocking how far back we are on the evolutionary ladder, but the device functions so I’m sorry if you feel bad about us eating frogs. Anyway.

These two political parties are just a recent example of how hierarchical governmental structures only serve the powerful and not themselves. Because both of these parties, the Republicucks and Democowards, are owned by the corporations. Corporations are not people but, because a billionaire (i.e. Violent Money Hoarder) named Harlan Crowe literally bought a Supreme Court Justice named Clarence Thomas (who is black, which has its own connotations steeped in slavery that I don’t have time to get into with this letter), the falsity that Corporations Are People and the dumb idea that how money is spent is protected under Freedom of Speech became the rules of the land. Another set of destructive rules meant to solidify the delusion of control, created by the Borings. You sure you want to hang out with us? Maybe you can just take me back to your place, this is all messed up-

I’ll calm down. Sorry.

When this ruling was put into place, a few things happened. First, by quantifying the qualitative right of Freedom of Expression, it put into place the rule that if you have more money than another person, you have more access to freedom of expression in a set, number amount- which is not how rights fucking function. Rights are inalienable (no offense meant); you’re supposed to have them, whether or not government or a society exists, because a right is an inherently human trait- it’s supposed to be the government’s job to protect those rights for the individual to ensure a safe way for humans to interact in communal setting. Setting the table for the potluck, hosting the space. Money, however, is one of those inhuman, made up, Boring things. So, by protecting money in the same way as other abstract human traits (like writing), it gave a direct path for the second effect- the United States of America became an oligarchy controlled by the wealthy.

See, the United States hadn’t really been a full democracy at that point. Democracy, which is government by and for the people, had been shot in the fucking face in 2000 when the Supreme Court put Republicuck George W. Bush into the office of President, despite the fact that a majority of people chose Democoward Al Gore. The Borings used more made up rules to accomplish that, this time in the form of a ridiculously stupid construct called The Electoral College. This was founded by a bunch of old white dudes that didn’t have running water in their bathrooms and had to wear powdered wigs to keep lice from eating their heads, when we were still just organized in colonies. You were spending time with the actual civilizations, the Indigenous populations that colonialism decimated, purposely. The smallpox blankets were given on purpose. Did you visit around then? Do you guys have a non-interference law or something? Because that’s fucked up, you should’ve intervened. I’ll lay off, sorry. There’s a rumor that the immortal Count of Saint Germain helped kick off the American Revolution, is he another one that hangs out with you? His whole thing is he doesn’t age, then he pops up at important points in history and causes chaos. Let a girl know, that would be such a cool story to hear.

All right, I’ll refocus.

This all goes back to money and power. Basically, if you’re going to be hanging out with humans, you should just know this- since the East India Trading Company essentially took over England, and after England had destroyed all the naval transportation lanes it could find in its insane quest for power, and fully empowered the open slave trade worldwide. Now, we have a loophole in our 13th Constitutional Amendment that rebranded slavery as “prison labor” and there are human trafficking rings that the government benefits from directly for this phase of below ground slavery worldwide. Black Rock is the current corporation, same as the East India Trading Company before it, that has taken over puppeteering the government, alongside a crew of Violent Wealth Hoarders.

If you’ve been watching human history at all, you know this. And I hope you’ve seen, despite the power games at the top of the hierarchy, a majority of people aren’t violent, power hungry cucks. We’re just beaten and battered and bruised and we’ve been manipulated for so long that we don’t have a shared sense of reality. If you’re going to be here, especially right now, you have to have patience. You have to have compassion. And, above all, you have to stop the liars.

If you’re an intergalactic warlord reading this piece and deciding how you want to take over, just know- you literally can’t make it worse. We would absolutely love it if you took out the few thousand billionaires hoarding the resources, the gas & oil company executives destroying the planet, the religious control freaks, the dumbass politicians who are too stuck in the past to even see the present, and the media players that lie on behalf of all of these fuckers. Really. We’d celebrate you because most of us, really and truly, do come in peace.

You don’t have to believe me, though. I get that our track record is fucked. Welcome to Earth.

Love, Arlene


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